wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
