Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize