I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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