i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
