Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize