Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
