Swine flu is the new snow day.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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