so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
