so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
