: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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