I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
