Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
