you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
