don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
