is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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