She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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