umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
