You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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