Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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