He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Randomize