If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Randomize