I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
