Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
