No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
