You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize