i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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