OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She announced her abortion via fbk
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
