i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
