why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
