you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize