Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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