he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
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