Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
