Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
