Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
