i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
