the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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