also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
where are you?
Hypothermia
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
