...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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