Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
