So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
