all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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