got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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