You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
