I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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