i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
honey bunches of taint.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
