Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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