Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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