Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize