don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
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We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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