It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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