Its about making memories worth repressing
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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