he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
