I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
