You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I puked a lego.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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