Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
