She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
