walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
